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Love talking? Love making introduction? Or just love customizing and pretty-ing up your little blog? Yes! C'mon, get into that spirit, 'cos you've got a whole heap or chance to! Guess what!? You'll get to fill up your whole pretty Hello Kitty'd blog, and trust me, Hello Kitty? It's the awesome-est cartoon ever. I mean, who disagrees?! Boys, maybe, but HELLO KITTY ROCKS!

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• June 2006
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• November 2006
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• January 2007


Saturday, October 21, 2006

It's been almost a week since I blogged. And in just one week, so many things have happened. My daddy's in the ICU, he nearly collapsed of a heart attack on Friday. I was just about to go to CG when I received the urgent call from my sister. My mum's stuck in Vietnam on a business trip and had left earlier that morning. Sigh. My current state of mind can be described as tired and somewhat worried.

My dad's still in the ICU, with nurses monitoring him around the clock for any abnormal cardio activity. One always reads of feeling the pain and sorrow of seeing one's family member hooked up on ventilators and machines plus tubes in and out of his body. I could only imagine how would one feel, until that day when my own father lie in the hospital, with me looking on helplessly. He was weak and could not really speak, only enough to urge me to take care of my sisters and told all 3 of us to take care of each other. I held it all in until I reached home yesterday and I just started crying. Tears came, hot and fast and there was this ache in my heart for my daddy. But God is good, even as I prayed, I was asking God to give me courage to go through this and be the strength of my life even as I stand in the gap for my family.

Well, this is a low point in my life. But yet, life only throws at you even more things. Even in the midst of smses, someone close actually told me tt the decision of being together with "someone else" is in the balance. At that moment, I felt, "God, what else can go wrong? Why God?" Plus, "someone else" just broke off a previous relationship. And this person is not a Christian. What's the use of telling me that this person is "open to Christianity"? I don't want to say anything more. I really don't need this right now. I am so tired, and the person I thought I could count on really let me down, big-time. In time to come, I know whatever I've just said is just "gibberish" but I really feel so sad. I can only go to God with whatever that is in my heart.

Psalms 61:1-4 "Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer. From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah."

These verses came to mind as I prayed, and it is really my rhema for the time now. I must manage my expectations cos life continues, if someone refuses to lay down a lifetime for God, then I can only expect so much from someone. It's ok to disappoint me, but I hope that no one will ever disappoint God. Certainly, it's true, God always tests us again in the areas we fell through the last time ... it's just a re-test, but sometimes we are just so blind to see it. I see it, do you?