Saturday, September 30, 2006

Never look back, but never forget what happened. That's my thought for today.

If you think about it, dunch you ever wonder why we are always told that we should never look back, but when we are in trouble, someone or another will definitely remind you to remember what happened in the past? I do. Then why ask us not to look back in the first place?

Then I realised, that maybe perhaps that saying is incomplete. That we were not supposed to look back and be disheartened, but yet never forget what we must learn from what we have gone through. There is a difference, between living in the past and leaving the past. Haha. Aren't I philosophical today?

Sometimes, the past can really bug you, that's why we've got to let it go. But yet, the past can be full of great memories that make the present worth it and the future brighter and something I can look forward to. Lessons learnt from the past often become the basis of how we decide what we have to decide for our future, so I take great comfort knowing that God alone has ordered our steps and He is the lamp unto our feet and the light onto our path. So that means, whatever happens in our past happened for a reason, so that our future is already written according to God. Amazing huh?

What your eyes and heart tell you may not always be true. Your heart may just lead you to another break, heartbreak that is. That's why you've got to follow what the Holy Spirit leads, and very often find that His way is very very often NOT our way. We always know that in our mind, but to really accomplish this takes a deep breath of faith and a "just go for it" attitude.

Then now you also realise the meaning of "leap of faith"? Cos a jump speaks of "trial and error," but a "leap" suggests that it is a calculated step, and you are going for that distance with just the right amount of energy to execute that leap.

I don't want my life to be a "trial and error," I can be happy, cos I know that God has ordered all my steps and He has calculated each step and I can leap the distance cos the joy of the Lord is my strength. Isn't God cool? He's got it all figured.

Monday, September 25, 2006

It's time to grow up.

Haha, it's me basking in the ambience of nostalgia again. Well, I get this big feeling of loss of some sort, cos Anne's all attached, to a good man nonetheless. Letting go of someone who has grown up with you for almost all your life in church is certainly no easy task. I distinctly felt exactly how mothers feel on their daughters' wedding day. It's a mixture, of being happy for my girl and also feeling this sense of longing and wishing that she did not have to go.

But yet, I've given my blessing and here's me wishing them all the best in their new life together!

Farewelll CG is in 6 days! Pardon my incoherrent babbling on my blog ... I'm just writing as events come to mind.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I've come to realise something. That in times of separation, there will be newfound closeness. And in times like that, you realise that you treasure people around you more. Yet, one must learn not to be too emotionally involved and just be led by emotions. When one gets too emotional about things like CG reshuffle, you tend to forget a great many things ... common sense for example.

In all my years leading CGs, there have been quite a few multiplications, reshuffles and disbands I've been through. In fact, my journey to becoming a CGL started with a CG disbandment too. There will always be tears and feelings of longing and wishes that the old CG can just stay together ... but don't go too far. Don't start gathering into groups and start getting into deep nostalgia and resist the change together. It's ridiculous.

To me, next week is truly a week of a mighty send-off, some of my champions to a new CG to fight a new battle. There is hardly any time for tears, sobs and "I wish we could stay together." Its a time of tumultous applause, thunderous cheering and back-slaps to whoever is going off to a new CG and say, "It's your turn! You go, I'm cheering you on!" That is what I mean by having a good attitude and the correct attitude towards changes. So quit the sobs, and start up the dream machine, for ahead lies many more mysteries and exciting things with Jesus. Don't check out, check in with what the happenings with God. Go with the Holy Ghost flow!

Live. Laugh. But most importantly, LEARN.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

It's 1 plus! I just got home, went for dinner with Kenneth, Huimin & Jas .... and making her first debut appearance ... Lorraine! :) It's just fantastic to get leaders to come round and have dinner with us all. Though its never easy ... but like I was taught, the first key thing you must have is availability. You cant include someone who is not available to be spend time with you. It's virtually impossible, so I've learnt ... sometimes I just gotta ask them to join us. Haha!

I finally caught "Tokyo Drift" man, it's one hot movie! Lotsa fast cars and bad boys. Haha. My current weakness is ... cars. Good grief ... now I guess I finally understand Jasmine's endless fetish for sports cars. They are so ... (and there is no other word for it) CHIO! Haha. I must sound terribly "ah lian" but seriously .... they are sooo pretty. And fast. Gimme one of those babies please!

If I pray hard enough, one MIGHT just drop from heaven. It MIGHT, you never know.

Yawns. Bedland beckons.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Finally ... I'm back.

Seeing that my last blog entry was dated in June ... I have got a lot of catching up to do, or rather, anyone who reads my blog have quite a lot of reading to do. So these months have passed by rather quickly, even though life as gone on at a much slower pace. From doing up the cafe from scratch, to so-called "home improvements" and ad-hoc "business strategies" which have all failed, in more ways than one. I fight the urge to say "I told you so". But yet, it's but my humble opinion, so I shall just keep my thoughts to myself. "Have a bigger heart," I always remind myself.

Guess what? My 2 CGs are going through quite a tough time now, cos no one know who is going where. O, we are going through a major reshuffle. Many lives will take a change in approximately 2 weeks time. My CGs are reshuffling with Huimin's CG. People are coming over, which then translates into more discipleship and molding for me and my new members. I have already decided on plans and have finalized them with Huimin, just need to send them for approval from Pastor and with the paperwork done, everything else is set. Henceforth lies a new adventure and a new chapter in my life as a CGL, the cycle of life continues, discipleship and disciple-making .,, it won't quite end for me. But it is something that I enjoy doing and love doing. I would imagine that my members would be reading my blog word for word for any sign, any clue whatsoever as to who would be leaving and going over to be with Huimin. Dream on guys, please don't forget that I used to work in an Editorial department, and I do know the use of parables. *grin* Too bad. Ha ha. But yet, all changes are for the greater good and whoever is leaving, is also heading for a better place and a brand-new adventure.

Work-wise, Cafe's closing for the holidays coming October and that means I'm free to look for other jobs. I'm going back and forth, thinking if I should just be a teacher or should I give fulltime tuition. Though I very much opt for the latter, much remains undecided. Funny that I would be undecided. Sigh, it's okay ... more importantly, I'm happy. Yes, I must be happy. This weekend's sermon has certainly been another milestone in my life story. It has brought closure to my heart, my own life and the things that still bothered me. Finally it is finished, I can forget and keep moving on to what God has in store for me and just the same, a brand-new adventure awaits me!

Alrighty, another exciting end to another day in my otherwise mundane life. Back to stoning in the Cafe and to voices of endless "Ham & Cheese". Adios, till next time.